Rylie’s Testimony

Rylie is that friend that I had prayed for and cried for in such a lonely season of my life. I get to go to war with her and for her in prayer and in faith, and it is one of the greatest joys of my life. A friendship that pushes me to pursue Jesus more and more.

Rylie, to know you is to get to experience Jesus’ heart in a deeper way. I will forever be encouraged by your faithfulness despite all your pain and the way you remain loyal to your people no matter what you are walking through. -Ella

I have always grown up in church, and have been TAUGHT to serve the Lord with all my heart.  “With ALL my heart.” That’s a strong phrase. I knew I was supposed to, but I didn’t really understand the meaning of it until I went through struggles. As a kid, I went through a lot of pain and heartache. I saw a lot more than I should have. I experienced more than a child can fully comprehend. My parents divorced when I was eight years old. They actually worked it out and got remarried. Unfortunately, by the time I was thirteen, they were divorced again.

I never really knew what a healthy marriage was supposed to look like. I knew what the Bible said, but I had never seen a Godly marriage for myself. This led to a lot of confusion within my young self. I was not sure how to accept love. I was not taught how to communicate well. All I knew was havoc and chaos. I didn’t know if I was even loved or valued. I knew my heart was full of the Lord and I knew I loved Him. But does He love me? Am I accepted for who I am? Thoughts constantly ran through my mind as I began to get older. I loved people. I cared for them. I helped them. However, I could not do the same for myself.

I fell into a dark depression and negative body image mindset. Without a present father to be the leader and with a mother who was working a lot and doing her best to care for us, I felt alone and inadequate. I also had a younger sister to protect and love. It was so much for a fifteen year old to carry. I developed some eating habits that were not bringing benefits to my body, soul, or mind. Everyone seemed to notice, but no one ever tried to help. I never saw a doctor. I never saw a therapist. I went through it all alone.

BUT GOD! God remained beside me. He continued to speak to me. He gave me visions and dreams. He gave me words of wisdom. He loved me, even at my darkest moments. He showed me how to chase Him and love Him with ALL my heart. A while later, God brought an amazing individual into my life that has forever changed it. I began to see my body as a gift and the temple of the Lord. I formed better habits mentally and physically. I fell in love with the gym. I fell in love with prioritizing myself and my needs. Needless to say, I still do struggle mentally with these negative things, but they do not have power over me like they used to.

Years went by, and I have yet again faced some unfortunate events. I was diagnosed with a rare illness that does not come with a lot of data or medicine. Again, BUT GOD! Through it all, I have felt joy. In the midst of the darkness, there was light. There still is and always will be because God never changes. I met my best friend that God has picked out for me! Someone who holds me accountable. Someone who loves me unconditionally. God has perfectly lined up everything in my life even though it doesn’t always make sense to me, but it always brings joy into my soul. I’m currently facing and walking through a challenging season, but in the middle of it all, I feel so overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude. I have learned how to love God with ALL my heart because He loves ALL of me with ALL of Him, regardless of my circumstances.