Faithfully Navigating Disappointment
May 13, 2024
Navigating disappointment faithfully is something we do not talk about often enough. Christ-less Christianity instills the belief that in order to have good faith, we have to hold it all together and be “just fine” when things go wrong. If Jesus wept, why can’t we? In John 11, Jesus “was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” when He saw the tears of those grieving over the death of Lazarus (John 11:33). If Jesus knew that He would raise Lazarus from the grave, why did He weep in sorrow? Our pain is His pain. His heart breaks when our heart breaks. And He took His desire to repair our broken hearts to a brutal death on the cross. Our human hearts and minds could never grasp this kind of love, but one of my favorite worship songs, “Son of Suffering” by Bethel Music, captivates the emotional weight of what Jesus did on the cross beautifully:
Oh, the perfect Son of God
In all His innocence
Here walking in the dirt with you and me
He knows what living is
He's acquainted with our grief
Man of sorrows, Son of suffering
The blood and tears
How can it be?
There's a God who weeps
There's a God who bleeds
Oh, praise the One
Who would reach for me
Hallelujah to the Son of suffering
Some imagine You
Are distant and removed
But You chased us down in merciful pursuit
To the sinner You were grace
And the broken You embraced
And in the end, the proof is in Your wounds
Yes, in the end, the proof is in Your wounds
Blood and tears
How can it be?
There's a God who weeps
There's a God who bleeds
Oh, praise the One
Who would reach for me
Hallelujah to the Son of suffering
We tend to surrender to our disappointment and allow it to control us or stuff the feelings away out of shame. But Jesus’ yoke is easy and His burden is light. His yoke isn’t hopelessness or discouragement and His burden isn’t shame or isolation. What would happen to the healing of your heart if you sat with Jesus and cried with Him? What would happen to your hope in His great plans for your life if you called out to Him in your disappointment?
Five years ago this past weekend (May 11, 2019), I ran the 400 meter dash in the Texas state championship track and field meet in Austin, Texas. This race took place in the midst of struggling with a nasty eating disorder, and I had put my entire identity in my performance and my body. My body, and my mind too if I’m honest, was hanging on by a thread, which snapped in two right at the finish line of my race, where I passed out just meters before placing in the top five. Trusting the enemy in my eating disorder instead of trusting God had reared its ugly head. Everything I had been chasing slipped away in a split second. What was left for me but failure?
Instead of grieving the disappointment in the arms of Jesus, allowing the weight of my sorrow to lead me to place my identity in Him, I chased control. This led me to treatment center upon treatment center, disappointment upon disappointment, heartache upon heartache as I became sicker. I felt as if I was watching my life slip away in slow motion as the days went on and the desire to give up entirely grew stronger.
But God. I don’t know what disappointment you are facing today, but I do know that when the Lord removes, He replaces because He is faithful.
I sit here, five years later, with tears in my eyes at the goodness of God. I can remember thinking that I would never recover, never move past what I thought was an unredeemable shattered dream. But God knew exactly what He was doing. He removed my desire for control and replaced it with trust in His sovereignty. He removed my identity in things of this world and replaced it with an identity as His beloved. He removed my insecurities and fears of being unlovable and replaced it with confidence in His Word that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He removed goals that were driving me from His presence and replaced them with God-given dreams and a life beyond what I could ever imagine. Yes, that process of pruning and equipping and restoring was painful, overwhelming, and scary at times. But it was also full of joy, security, and excitement found only in Christ. His removal isn’t “God is cruel” because His replacement means “God is doing more than I could ever imagine.”
I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.” Lamentations 3:19-24
I look back on that weekend in 2019 and remember what that broken heart felt like. I lost who I thought I was, who I thought I had to be to be lovable. It took my breath away. Today, I am living a life that I love, that is only because of God’s kindness and mercy to redeem my sin and short-comings. Disappointments still come. This time around, I can grieve them with Jesus, telling Him how much it hurts. But it doesn’t end there, because in Christ I get to say, “yet this I call to mind…”
Unemployment hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
The death of a loved one hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
That break-up and rejection hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
Failing that exam hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
Miscarriage hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
This diagnosis hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
Getting cut from the team hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
Financial stress hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
Betrayal from friends hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
Divorce hurts, yet this I call to mind: God is good to me.
I don’t know what disappointment you are facing today, but I do know that when the Lord removes, He replaces because He is faithful. What would happen to the healing of your heart if you sat with Jesus and cried with Him? What would happen to your hope in His great plans for your life if you called out to Him in your disappointment?
To my First Love,
We praise You for loving us so deeply that Your heart breaks when our heart breaks. We praise You for healing our broken hearts when You took on the cross out of a love that we will never fully understand. Teach us how to grieve with You, calling to mind Your goodness, kindness, and intentionality in the midst of what is hard and painful. To You we owe our everything.
Amen