Perfection
December 21, 2021
"Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners."
Romans 5:7-8
A lot of my recovery included a chase after perfection. This desire to be perfect, it only led me to independence. An independence that, in reality, was dependence on the world and not on Jesus. My dependence on the world, it led me further and further from my Father, leading me further and further from recovery and healing.
This most recent season of life the Lord has so faithfully allowed me to walk through has led me away from perfection and back to my Father.
Coming out of a season of relapse and more intensive treatment, I’ve learned that recovery is not linear and vulnerability with Him and others breeds intimate connection.
Treatment brought me to Alabama. The heaviness of my “failures” has taught me to lean deeper into my Father, my Comforter. My imperfections further show me that only Jesus is perfect, and I am resting in that truth.
Romans 5:7-8 tells us that the One who walked this earth perfectly died for us so that we could live and thrive and heal and spend eternity with our Father in Heaven. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. He died for me. He died for you.
Because Jesus died for me, I can rest. I no longer have to chase perfection or strive for excellence because the victory on the cross came with an abundance of grace and mercy and love and goodness. As I lay down my flesh daily and choose to turn away from sin, I know there is no such thing as striving to please my Father, but only abiding with Him. In that abiding comes the fruit of finding joy in walking in His will and design.
Treatment in Alabama created a safe space for me to surrender my health and recovery to Christ once again. It gave me time to sit still and allow the Lord to fight on my behalf. It gave me the opportunity to step away from the world and bask in the grace and compassion the Lord has for me as I struggled to let go and let God work.
My time in Alabama has taught me so much more about who Jesus is and why He died on the cross for me. An act of love so that I may walk in freedom and healing. So that I may abide in Him and not strive to be perfect for Him. He took on the weight of sin so that I may rest and be confident in the truth that I am His beloved.
Stop striving for perfection. It's impossible and only takes away from our ability and freedom to idle in the love of the Lord. Take a minute today to sit and be still. For when we are still, the Lord will fight for us (Exodus 14:14).
The Lord has so faithfully allowed me to walk through this past season, leading me away from perfection and back to His arms.